DWTS from a 7-year-old's perspective

Last night the family was eating dinner and watching Dancing with the Stars. I know mealtime should be reserved for conversation, but DWTS is one of my guilty pleasures. Sue me!

Anyway, we were watching newcomer Lacey Schwimmer perform with former boy bander Lance Bass when my young daughter made this comment about Schwimmer's costume:

Did she mean to dress that way? Is she trying to look cool? That's completely inappropriate!

I told her that she was right. You don't have to show a lot of skin to be cool. I know my daughter's taste in clothes may not always lean toward the conservative. But I'm grateful, for now, that they do.

A mom's grief

I caught today's Good Morning America and was especially touched by an interview with the family of gospel singer Steven Curtis Chapman.

On May 21, his five-year-old adopted daughter Maria was accidentally stuck by the SUV her 17-year-old brother was driving. She ran into the truck's path on the way to greet her brother who was coming up the family driveway. The little girl died later that day.

As a mother of two young girls, I know that's every family's worst nightmare. How in the world do you bounce back from that kind of tragedy? It was obvious that they're still struggling with many unanswered questions themselves.

I think the thing that really got me was wife Mary Beth's reaction. Here's an excerpt of her reaction from the GMA website:

"I've said, you know, somewhat coldly, 'I don't care whose lives are touched by this story and whose lives are changed or what good comes of it.' As the heart of a mom, I want Maria back."

Crying, she continued, "And that's -- you know, that's what I want people to know is I want Maria back. But because I know that she is completely whole because of my faith, I know that she's completely whole and completely OK and I'm going to see her again. As a mom, I have to shift that grief to go."

I've got to say that raw emotion really got to me because it was real and honest. I hope and pray to God that my kids make it through each day happy, healthy and safe, but none of us can predict with any certainty that will happen. These moments that we have with our children and few and precious, and who knows who are what can happen that will take those moments away from us. I think any mom who watched that interview this morning can totally relate to how this woman feels. I know that we hope that we will never have to endure that kind of pain. I guess at the heart of all this grief is faith. Faith that we will see our loved ones again. Faith that we will get through. So while it wasn't her intention for the viewers to really take anything from her words, I did. I'll learn to appreciate those little moments that I have with my children. Not to get upset over the little things. Enjoy each happy smile. Each moment of silliness. Thanks for making me realize how truly fortunate I am.

To see the video for Chapman's beautiful song Cinderella, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcNPGWgbIbo

Working me...

Last night my daughter asked me if I would cuddle with her when she went to bed. She complained that she was cold. How she can be cold when the temps have been in the high 90s at night around here, I'll never know. Anyway, I snuggled with her for a little while then decided it was time to get up. I gave her a little peck and told her she was an awesome kid.

She replied by saying: You're an awesome mom. You're a tough mom too, but inside you have the heart of an angel.

Oh, she's gooooood!

A way to go moment...

My oldest daughter has never had an adventurous spirit. I blame myself for that in part. We had her a little later than most couples and I guess I was scared of her getting hurt. So rather than letting her try things on her own and risk getting the bumps and bruises associated with growing up, I coddled her.



Last year, she decided she wanted to try swimming lessons. That first week was probably the roughest week of her young life. She cried everytime she hit the water. She wouldn't dare get her face wet. Well, by the second week, she was diving for rings and sticks and the bottom of the pool. We had finally found that thing she loved.



This summer we started back up at swim lessons. At the beginning of the summer, I started her at a Level I American Red Cross swim class. She had finished last summer at a Level II, but I recognized that she still needed help with the basics. I figured rebuilding that foundation couldn't hurt her. And it did.



Where last year she was fearful of floating on her back, this time she embraced the challenge. I would sit at the side of the pool with her baby sister, and I'd hear my big girl tell the instructors that she wanted to try to the backstroke by herself. When the instructors took the kids over to the deep end of the pool, I saw hesitation before she jumped. I waited for her to start crying about not wanting to do it, but she surprised me. She sucked it up, jumped in and then swam to the side of the pool. Pretty soon, it got easier and easier.



Well, today was the last day of swim lessons for the summer. And it was nice to see that my daughter was genuinely unhappy to see it end. When the teachers handed out the final certificates, she pulled my daughter and two other little girls aside and congratulated them for not only completing the class but getting promoted to the ARC Level III class. The look of shock and amazement on my daughter's face said it all! She was thrilled. She didn't imagine that she'd get that far this summer, but she did. And she can't wait to start lessons again because she wants to learn how to do more advanced strokes.



It was definitely a `way to go' moment and one that I'll never forget as a parent. It's a great feeling when your kids not only surprise you with the things they can accomplish, but they surprise themselves too. I'm so proud of my big girl!!!!

Thanks, teach!

My daughter recently finished first grade. I can't believe how quickly the school year went. When I think back to the first days and how much she struggled, it's amazing to see how far she's come. That first report card was less-than-perfect, and I remember how devastated she was by that. But we, as a family, were lucky that she had such a wonderful teacher. She kept in constant communication with us through parent-teacher conferences and e-mails. She also made every effort to greet each child with a hug at the door in the morning and a few words to the parents as the kids were being dropped off.

When my daughter would come home from school, she was always in a good mood. I'd listen to her talk about her day and laugh when some funny, new saying would come out of her mouth. When I'd ask where she learned that, she'd always say it was her teacher. Then there were times at dinner or at bed, when she would call me by her teacher's name. She'd catch herself then blush or grin widely. I guess she was trying to make sure that I didn't get jealous. I never did. It always made me feel relieved that she was obviously loved and well taken care of during the day.

As the final days of school were approaching, I began the count down. When it got down to the final two days, she insisted that there were four days left not two. We went back and forth on this, and then I finally asked her why she kept saying that there were four. She said it was because she wasn't ready to leave her teacher yet. I assured her that she would have a good teacher in second grade. I wasn't sure if that helped or not.

Well, the last day finally came. The children were given autograph books to sign, and my daughter brought hers because she realized her teacher hadn't signed it yet. When it was time to go, she walked up to her teacher and asked her to sign it. I watched my little girl fighting back the tears. And the more she fought it, the harder they came. I don't really like to cry in front of my daughter because she's a sensitive little kid. She doesn't like to see anyone cry. But this time, I couldn't help it either. She and her teacher rested their heads against each other as she wrote in the book.

The message said: You are my `sweet angel.' I love you and will miss you. Please come see me.

And she signed her name. Then she gave my daughter the biggest hug.

Her teacher came to me and hugged me earlier and told me how much she loved my daughter and what a great kid she is. And that's always nice to hear, but seeing how much love there was between those two made me realize how hard it was for my daughter to let go.

As we walked to the car, she sobbed about how unfair it was to have to say goodbye to her. She told me that she dreamed of having a teacher like her and now that she had her she didn't want to say goodbye. I don't ever remember feeling that way about any of my teachers growing up. I told her that we would write to her this summer and in the fall she could bring her an apple on the first day of school. I also looked that cutie in the face and wiped away her tears and told her, `You know, you crying like this is the reason teachers and the people you meet love you so much. You're a great kid.'

I think that helped.

When we came home, I set her up with an e-mail account and she wrote to her teacher that afternoon with promises to write to her often this summer. I know that's a promise and a friendship she's going to keep forever.

Happy Mother's Day

The best gift I got today was a simple letter my oldest gave me and I'd like to share it with you.

My favorite thing about my mother is her kiss!!!!!!!
My least favorite thing is nothing.
The funniest thing is her laugh.
My mother laughs when I tickle her.
My mother cries when I am hurt.
I never get mad.
I love her because she loves me!

Hope this made you feel as good as it made me feel. Happy Mother's Day all!

Miss Delay Tactic

One of my favorite times of the day has to be bedtime, but I've got to say that my oldest loves pushing her bedtime back as far as she can. She's a master at it. Every night, I tell her the same thing. Get your pajamas, potty, brush your teeth, bath, get dressed, bed. I can't tell you how many times a night, I run through that list with her. Without fail, she usually tries to skip one or two steps.

When she finally does get dressed, she comes to my husband's office and says, `Repeat to the starting line. Repeat to the starting line.' Yes, she means `report,' but she's just so darned cute that we don't correct her. So then, I usually call a race down the hall between her and my husband. Every once in awhile, she enlists my help to block her dad's path so she can win. After a bedtime story, we tuck her in and give her a kiss good night. Before I leave, she'll ask me to `check' on her, then check on her baby sister, then come back and check on her again. I made the mistake once of telling her that I check on her several times before I go to bed. I usually give her a peck on the cheek and whisper, `good night, sweet princess.' I think it's comforting to her to actually hear it. I don't mind doing this at all. But now, I'm having to anticipate her moves even more. It seems the second I sit down to rest, I can hear her calling me from down the hall. She's either asking for water, a tissue, or me to leave the door cracked open. She's asking for me to talk to her dad in the living room because she likes being able to hear us. Did I give her the allergy medicine she takes at night? What's for lunch tomorrow? Did I remember to sign her binder? You name it, she's asked it.

She truly is our Miss Delay Tactic.

Proud moment

My daughter scored her first soccer goal of the season. She never gets a chance to play offense and had her shot today. After a few missed shots, she finally got one in. It's been a good week for her. Great performance at the talent show, excellent report card, and now scoring her first goal in soccer. Yes, I'm one proud mama!

Girls night

I remember when a girls night was dinner or drinks with friends after work or on the weekend. Since I became a mom of two, the meaning of the phrase has changed dramatically. Once a week, my hubby attends a group meeting for a local organization, so that leaves me home alone with the kids until bedtime.

My oldest and I have been used to this schedule, but this year we've thrown a new baby into the equation. Man, those first few weeks were nerve-wracking. Now, I've got to say that I actually enjoy our `girls nights' together. My oldest is old enough to help with the baby while I cook. And the baby adores her big sister. I usually make the same meal every `girls night' too, and I think that's a comfort to my oldest. We sit at the table, eat and talk.

I can't tell you that every conversation we have is deep and profound, but I know that the time we have together is meaningful to all of us - baby, included. And when girls night is over with, there's nothing more enjoyable than peaking in on my girls sleeping and feel grateful for the gifts they've brought to my life.